Whenever I see a bunch of proud dipshit cops standing around a table of confiscated guns I think about the tv show “The Wire.” In particular, I think of the season 1 episode titled “Dope on the Table” where the main characters are forced to produce SOMETHING to show for their efforts and tax payer-funded operations. The concept of “dope on the table” is a performative gesture to the community, usually suburban middle class types who vote, demonstrating that the police are doing SOMETHING about stopping violent crime.

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"Look at all these guns/drugs/street racing cars we took off the streets!" the “dope” on the table would suggest. And it’s never anything exceptional. A few bags of weed, some junky guns of dubious function, etc.

This brings me to my topic: Gun Buy Back programs in most major US cities. If you’re unfamiliar with these programs, I’ll explain in somewhat broad strokes: police offer money, or gift cards, or (in some cases) groceries in exchange for firearms. The cops will offer amnesty to anyone turning in a firearm (allegedly, jury’s out on whether or not the cops really “ask no questions” more on this later).

But the program is fraught with problems: gun buy backs seldom reduce gun violence, barely prevent firearm-related suicides, often offer a fraction of what the firearm is worth, target disenfranchised communities, and sometimes even put the same firearms back on the streets in various other forms.

​According to a 2021 study by the Annals of Surgery, gun buy backs fail to reduce violent firearm-related crimes in the communities where they happen. Looking at nearly 30 years worth of gun buy back data, determined that the only measurable decrease was in suicides of older white males; seemingly the population cops would want to keep alive most. So maybe the program is working as intended.

​Sommerville, MA conducted a gun buy back that produced 15 firearms out of the 1500 registered firearms within the local area. That’s .1% if I’m doing the quick math in my caffeine-rattled brain at 10am on a Sunday.

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So why are people (rightfully) apprehensive about participating in gun buy backs?

The cops tend to be lopsided in their offers for firearms. On average, law enforcement is offering $150 for functioning firearms (the “functioning” caveat was added to many programs after a man in Tennessee brought in over 200 AR lowers – the serialized “firearm” part of most AR15s – to exchange in 2018) usually in the form of gift cards to local grocery stores or retailers. The average cost of a Glock 9mm pistol is around $600, an AR15 around $1000. These are the firearms police and the community want most of the streets, yet what gets turned in are old hunting rifles and revolvers, not really used in street level crimes. And most people put a higher value on their firearm than what is offered, since it provides protection or it’s an heirloom and it’s likely worth much more for it than what’s being offered.

People are also skeptical about the so-called “amnesty” offered by local law enforcement. While law enforcement agencies everywhere claim that they simply collect and “destroy” the firearms, it’s equally highly likely the cops are running serial numbers to determine the weapon’s history. Coupled with logging the surrenderer’s information into their systems, it probably isn’t hard to turn around and charge individuals after the fact for being in possession of a stolen firearm, etc. While my research came up empty on stories of cops doing this, there a non-zero chance this is happening.

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Also consider that the targeted audience for gun buy backs have a healthy distrust of the police, is another factor why gun buy backs fail to have a meaningful impact on violent crime in the communities they take place in.

An example: earlier this year a San Antonio, TX cop was “suspended indefinitely (aka, not really fired, allowed to resign and find cop employment down the road)” for stealing firearms and ammunition which were turned in at a gun buy back. The officer claimed he was “safeguarding” the weapons since they held “historical value.” The ammo he claimed was “going to be destroyed" at the PD’s firearms range. Sure bud.

Many law enforcement agencies also do not destroy the firearms themselves, unless it’s an election year. Then the mayor will drive a steamroller over a pile of Pa’s Huntin’ Rifles and cruddy-looking Saturday Night Specials in front of the tv cameras. No, in fact many companies exist that offer to do all the heavy lifting regarding the “total destruction” of the firearms and market themselves to police departments.

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In a 2024 episode of the New York Times’ “The Daily” podcast, it was reported that one such company gathers up the firearms and “deactivates” them, usually by simply disassembling them, and reselling the parts to retailers for profit.

There’s literally nothing illegal about this bit of savvy capitalism. It’s just not reducing the number of firearms on the streets. In fact, it’s actually increasing the number, given that many folks assemble their own guns at home, piece by piece.

Law enforcement officials, America’s D students, were largely unaware of these private companies’ practices, according to the podcast.

All this to say, gun buy backs don’t work. It’s a performative gesture to give tax payers a sense of ease that SOMETHING is being done, while taking the sting out of the ever-growing police budget. Because if the cops can’t put dope on the table, people might actually start asking what they do all day sitting in their cruisers for 12 hour shifts. Certainly not texting their mistresses or cyberbullying trans kids, that’s for sure.

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