Last Wednesday something extraordinary happened. Something that has dominated social media since, and captured the imagination of the people despite mainstream media’s weak attempts to steer the narrative.

We officially entered the dystopian cyberpunk future. That’s right piggies, we’ve finally crossed the threshold from fiction to reality and all it took was the public execution of an insurance CEO to do it.

As if ripped from the pages of a Neal Stephenson novel, an unknown protagonist stalked his corpo prey in one of the most surveilled locations in the United States, and (likely) with the help of a 3D printed firearm he made at home, killed a greedy corpo fuck in the street with bullets etched with a message. He then escaped via electric bike, as if in a video game losing his wanted status, befuddling the multii-billion dollar security apparatus designed specifically to protect these so-called captains of corporate industry.

Fuck, feed me more, holy shit.

So, as of the time of this writing, let’s go over the facts, reactions and implications of what some online are calling, the “spark of the class war.”

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The Facts:

On Wednesday, December 3, around 0645, United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson exited the mid-town Manhattan Hilton hotel. Thompson was attending an annual UNC conference being held at the hotel and in recent weeks, had received a number of death threats. Thompson had downplayed the death threats.

But why would the CEO of one of the country’s largest health insurers be receiving death threats?? Great question.

During Thompson’s tenure as UNC CEO, he ushered in an AI program to help adjusters determine if certain coverages for certain patients should be covered. His decision to take the human out of deciding whether or not a 75 year old receives chemotherapy, resulted in numerous, potentially preventable, deaths over the last few years.

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At the same time, a hooded and masked shooter is waiting by the entrance of the hotel. He calmly removes a silenced pistol from under his coat and begins shooting Thompson. The first round appears to catch Thompson in the leg. Due to the nature of the silencer and pistol configuration, the pistol has difficulty cycling. The shooter, being dubbed online as “The Adjuster”, doesn’t panic. His movements are practiced. He manually cycles the action on the pistol and pumps another round into Thompson, dropping him. Again, the gun fails to complete its cycle and The Adjuster racks the slide. He places a final round into Thompson’s face, while the terrified exec likely screams for mercy, evacuating his bowels in the process.

The Adjuster then flees the scene. Initial reports said it was on a “Citi-Bike” the ubiquitous rental e-bikes you find littering most major city sidewalks, making navigating the urban landscape unnecessarily even MORE dangerous. This claim has been walked back ever so slightly, as the multi-billion-dollar budgeted NYPD think The Adjuster might have just used a regular ol’ bicycle that “maybe he stole, we dunno.” - Actual quote from the NYPD’s public affairs officer.

Either way, The Adjuster slips into Central Park and ditches his gray backpack (and presumably the bike?) by the carousel. It would take the New York Pigs Department 3 days, with all their resources (including pulling an academy class out of school to help canvas the park) to find the backpack.

It’s been widely reported by many major news outlets that The Adjuster wrote on the shell casings “Deny” “Defend” and “Depose.” The backpack found in Central Park was stuffed full of Monopoly game money. Despite all this, the NYPD and federal authorities have yet to name a motive.

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The Reactions:

You could almost draw a line between the corpo bootlickers and the proletariat based on the online and media reaction to the shooting of Brian Thompson.

The majority of regular folks, most with presumably high deductibles, have cheered the death of Brian Thompson at the hands of what some could consider a vigilante-type hero. For most of us, we’ve been forced to live under the boot of billionaires, getting squeezed for the last dollar in our pockets just to live in this ever increasingly expensive hellscape. Seeing street justice meted out in the center of world financial security was a deliciously ironic twist, which only added to the glee.

Then you had the corporate neocon-in-lib-clothing media, politicians and other billionaires.

Of course they were shook. All of them. Since the rise of the billionaire class and its sycophantic media and political class, there’s been a sense of immortality. They live atop ivory towers, with trophy wives in gilded cages. Nothing can really touch them, to include congress, because most of them own a few members of congress.

Cable News across the ideological spectrum poo-poo’d the celebration of a CEO getting shot in the face. Human door knob Michael Smerconish called the online celebrations “tasteless” which is exactly the word a corporate cuck would use.

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Forgettable billionaire and presidential also-ran Andrew Yang timidly took to Twitter (what the fascists now call “X”) and tweeted out something like “guys c’mon, we can’t just be killing billionaires in the street, it’s a road to Hell.” Like, we’re not already here Andy? Come down to surface level you boob, live like a wage slave for a fucking HOUR and tell me we’re not all living in some form of hell on earth, you ugly pair of tits. Get your christofascist hand wringing off those keyboards and maybe breathe the air the rest of us plebs breathe.

Senator Amy Klobaucher (D-MN) tweeted out a sympathetic string of words, calling for swift justice, and tried to remind America that UNC CEO Brian Thompson was a “father and husband.” And I’d like to remind the rest of America that Senator Klobaucher took nearly $17K in campaign donations during her last election cycle from UNC.

And then there’s ol’ Elon. Elon Musk tweeted out the galaxy-brained “Uhh guys, killing billionaires isn’t ‘based’ ok??” If ever there was someone you wanted to be killed by a malfunctioning Cybertruck, it’s Elon.

Musk was also seen recently parading around one of his small children as he attended a public event. One online bootlicker said: “It’s nice to see Musk normalizing being a dad…” to which, …Ok, I didn’t know “being a dad” required “normalization” which says a lot about that particular person… but are we just going to skip over Musk is so terrified of getting his head blown off, he’s literally carrying a plate carrier-sized human around? A literal human shield.

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The Billionaire (and billionaire-adjacent) class is fucking terrified. And this is obviously a good thing. Personally, I’m looking forward to their fat complacency to take back over, so another one of their ilk gets bumped off by a one-way drone.

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The Implications:

It’s probably too early to tell what the far reaching implications will be to the murder of a corporate CEO responsible for ruining 10s of 1000s of lives by simply breathing, but that’s never stopped PHC from dabbling in straight conjecture, so let’s have a looksy.

Police State Crack Down: Right now, the multi-billion dollar police apparatus is being made to look dumb as fuck. Future Felon Mayor Eric Adams is likely hiding out in the Turkish Embassy’s basement, frantically calling his cop friends to find, fix and finish The Adjuster and fast. Only thing is, no one knows where this dude hightailed it to, and hopefully it stays that way. I expect living around New York to be especially difficult in the coming weeks.

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Future Gun Grab Fuel: You may remember earlier this past summer President-Elect Donald Trump got shot in his fucking ear. He already has an ax to grind with the amount of firearms that are just “out there” in our country. With his billionaire friends dropping $25K a night to stay at America’s saddest golf resort just to get 5 minutes of orange-face time, I’m sure he’s being asked to “do something” about guns in America. If it’s determined that a 3D printer was used to manufacture any part of the firearm or silencer used in the Thompson killing, you can bet that will be the first measure of the gun grab crack down, followed by forced surrender of AR15s and whatever else they dream up.

Billionaires and their companies figure their shit out: We’ve seen tattletales of this so far, Aetna recently reversed a decision to limit the amount of anesthesia for surgeries, a particularly ghoulish directive, shortly after UNC’s CEO was straight-up flatlined. So maybe there’s hope that some of the Billionaire Class get their shit together and start making decisions for the good of everyone, not just their shareholders. I mean, a guy can dream, right?

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